Dick the Butcher was right…

…when he said, “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers”. Keith Kantack, a shyster from my relative (physical, though not metaphysical) neck o’ the woods in Tupelo, MS, has filed suit in the death of St. Louis Cardinals reliever Joshua Hancock. Yes, that Joshua Hancock…the one who ran into the back of a flatbed tow truck with its lights flashing because he was inebriated, possibly speeding, and talking on a cell phone while driving Corzine-style in a rented SUV.

Who exactly is Mr. Kantack, ostensibly a member of the Tupelo law firm Holland, Ray, Upchurch & Hillen, suing? At this point, nearly everyone. 1) The bar where Mr. Hancock was served the drinks that would impair his driving ability. 2) The tow truck company whose driver stopped to help a motorist previously involved in a crash. 3) The driver of the tow truck. 4) The motorist whose broken down SUV necessitated the tow truck. Oh, and let the inflammatory statements begin! Among the beauties:

“It’s understood that for the entire 3½ hours that Josh Hancock was there that he was handed drinks,”
“It’s our understanding that from the moment Josh Hancock entered Mike Shannon’s that night that he was never without a drink.”
When asked if the Cardinals might be sued, Kantack said that Hancock’s family was “overwhelmed by the support and respect the Cardinals have shown since Josh’s passing”. Is that lawyer-speak for, “We haven’t figured out an angle to use to sue you two yet”?  I’m sure, given the chance, he’ll sue the manufacturer of the cell phone Hancock was using, as well as his cellular service provider, for not providing adequate warnings about the dangers of driving while using a mobile phone.
About the accident that necessitated the tow truck, we have this pair of beauties from Kantack:

“Were the police contacted?”, and “Why weren’t flares put out? Why was the tow truck there for an exorbitant amount of time?”

15 minutes. That’s how long he alleges the flat bed tow truck was there responding to a car spun out in the passing lane of the road where Hancock was killed.

And I’m not even going to talk about the fact that Hancock was in another accident just days before his death, nor discuss the allegation that he said that he had been “drinking all night” prior to oversleeping before a day game.

This story gets sadder and more surreal by the moment. I wonder what the Mississippi Bar might have to say about the conduct of Mr. Kantack?